I need to lose weight. This fact is abundantly clear to me now that I’ve been in Europe for a while. In the US, I’m on the skinnier end of the fat spectrum, so comparatively I don’t look or feel as fat. But, as my husband said, “now that we’re in Europe I can definitely see you’re overweight.” So can I and it makes me sad.
I know what I need to do. I need to get back on the primal diet. I’ve was on it strictly for about two months this year and lost 9 lbs. Then I went off it and gained a few, then I stayed more or less on it for a while and lost a bit more weight but didn’t go on it strictly enough to really lose the rest of the baby weight I need to lose, which would be about 15 lbs.
a, the first thing he did was stop eating all carbohydrates (except vegetables) and not only did his blood sugar numbers go back to normal, but he also lost a lot of weight. While he was slightly overweight when he got diabetes (he was a ‘skinny’ diabetic who ate a shit ton of sugar), he is now a lean and lovely 82 kg. You can covert that to pounds, but I’m embarrassed to admit that it’s only 7kg more than what I weight–and he’s 8 inches taller. He looks great and almost has a 6 pack despite the fact he doesn’t actually work out. His collarbones protrude to the extent of almost being deadly.
My sister went primal the same time last year I did and we were going to lose the weight together. She weighed about 150, which is around my maximum weight. Since she’s about 3 inches shorter than I, the small amount of weight she was continuously gaining was putting her closer and closer to the obese weight range. Unlike me, she stuck to the primal diet and, along with working out a few times a week, lost about 30 lbs. She now weighs 121lbs and looks fantastic. Being that she’s in her 30s and that makes losing weight all that much harder, I can’t believe how great she looks.
One of my friends who weighed 320 lbs went primal earlier in 2012 when he and his wife got divorced. He’s now lost about 100lbs and looks fantastic.
From personal experience, I know it works. I feel great when I eat primal. I have more energy, I sleep better. I feel full. I feel healthy and leaner. When I eat carbs, I feel tired and bloated. So why can’t I stick to the primal diet? What roadblock is preventing me from reaching my goals?
In short, the issue isn’t not knowing what to eat. It’s control. I need to feel like I’m in control of what I eat, so even when it’s me picking out the diet I have a really hard time actually obeying the rules. I want to cheat, just to make sure I’m really in control.
Either that or it’s just another way I’m sabotaging myself. Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers tend to do that. They set themselves up for failure. I do that a lot. I decide I’m going to eat primal (get back on the wagon from last April!) and then I add a whole bunch of complicated rules, like I can cheat one or two days a week or I’m going to eat primal, but also no S because that diet also works really well for me. Then I end up cheating because the rules I’ve made up are complicated, I’m not sure which diet I’m really following and god dammit, I like eating sweets.
Sweets (carbs in general, if I’m honest) have always been my achilles heel. When I was little, my mom used to keep a huge stash of candy (bought on clearance) in her closet and no one was allowed to eat it. So I used to sneak in there and steal it. Naturally, I got caught and I got in trouble. But it didn’t seem fair to me. Why should she get all candy while the rest of us didn’t? I also used to eat all the ice cream sundae cones whenever my mom would buy them. I’d start out sneaking one out of the freezer. Then I’d eat that and it’d taste so good I’d want another. Soon enough, the entire box was gone and then after dinner, someone would suggest eating ice cream sundaes for dessert and lo and behold, they’d all be gone and I’d get in trouble. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if I were pre-diabetic.
The great thing about being an adult is that I can eat the whole box of ice cream sundaes if I want to. And I have. Not often, but occasionally. And it’s always delicious. But I also want to lose weight. I’ve been consistently a size 12 or 14 since I was 17. Occasionally I’ve lost enough weight to be a size 10 or 8, but that was m,ainly through strict low-cal dieting, during which I always felt hungry.
Primal is different. Once you make the switch over from carb-fueled living to fat-fueled, you don’t feel hungry. You can even fast the entire day and feel fine!
My observations in Europe–a place where people definitely eat high-carb, low-fat low-protein–have led me to conclude that Europeans are truly skinny-fat. They’re not really slim. They just aren’t as fat as Americans because, generally speaking, they snack less and move more. But as soon as they hit thirty, they have the slow weight gain that causes the vast majority of older people to be overweight. They’re fat and it’s the carbs.
The conclusion I’ve reached is that I should really get back on the horse. It’s difficult to eat low-carb in Europe–my husband has had horrible blood sugar numbers since he’s been here–so I’ve not really been eating low-carb at all. The candy I’ve bought and eaten really wasn’t necessary. My size 10 pants I used to be able to fit in? Let’s just say I’m filling out my size 12s again nicely.
I told my husband I’m going to start eating primal again. His only comment was, “The problem is you say this every week, so I’m not entirely sure if I should believe you this time.”
“But I really mean it this time!” But I really meant it all those other times, too. I’ll just have to do my best. Maybe I’ll be more successful this time.