This year in homeschooling…

I’ve watched a few fairly depressing videos of people unboxing this year’s homeschooling curriculum. They shouldn’t be depressing, but since the videos were posted by fundamentalist Christians, they were. Yep, it’s great how all you have to do is open those PACE packets and put them in magazine files and you’re set for the year. And how convenient that they’ve updated the versions…by making the graphics flashier while not changing the content! Afterall, the content in these pretty much doesn’t matter…most of it is Bible verses and what isn’t is inaccurate anyway.

So I decided maybe I should put some non-depressing homeschooling content out there. Not a fan of videos though, so I just took some pictures.

Here’s what Alpha (fifth grade) is going to study this year:

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These are his main subjects, which he does nearly every day. Since we’re loosely following a classical structure, I added in logic because 5th grade is the first year of the logic stage. A lot of logic curricula are religious, which is not something we’re into, so I had a bit of a tricky time finding something meant for his grade level that wasn’t religious. Logic countdown meets this need and I finally realized that the analogies they would have us do later in elementary school as bell work was actually logic. I wish they’d just tell us things like that instead of keeping it a secret.
He’s also working on cursive. His hand writing in the book is neat and legible. Outside of it, it’s a mess and he doesn’t use cursive at all unless he decides to write something his sister can’t read. Sometimes, I’m not even sure why I’m still doing handwriting with him since we never see any improvement and the last thing he wants is neat handwriting. Whatever. We’re doing it.
We’re also continuing with Sequential Spelling. They’ve updated their format so that now you have a big ass thick student response book that has other activities in it as well along with the teacher’s book that has the word lists (this picture shows the teacher booklet). I think that’s kind of annoying and so does my son. Word searches and scrambles are a dyslexic’s nightmare, guys.
We’re continuing with JackKris Publishing’s Growing with Grammar and Winning with writing. The only things I dislike about these books is there is a bit of overlap if you’re using the two and sometimes it breaks things down a bit too much. Other than that, it explains grammar really well (I’m learning how to diagram sentences now, too!) and how to write detailed paragraphs.
And of course, Singapore Math. His math has finally become advanced enough that I got the teacher’s book just for the answer key to the problems because double checking them all myself was starting to take too long. But other than that, math is going well for us.

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Now for this year’s science selection: Pandia Press’ Biology 2. Holy crap this is a lot. I love it, but it’s a lot and my son has complained it’s a lot. We’re trying to squeeze everything into two days, but he thinks reading the chapter, doing the Famous Science Series and the general lab in one day is Too Much. I countered that if we save the lab for a different day, he’ll have to do it on one of the days we do history. He’s fine with that, apparently.
I love Pandia press, though. We’ve used it since the very beginning. I love how thorough it is and how it’s Science Based Science, something that can be hard to find in homeschooling curricula. Yes, the Earth IS millions of years old. The Theory of Evolution IS true and no, a theory is not something you’re just guessing about. That’s a hypothesis. In science, a theory is something “ an explanation of an aspect of the natural world that can be repeatedly tested, in accordance with the scientific method, using a predefined protocol of observation and experiment. Established scientific theories have withstood rigorous scrutiny and embody scientific knowledge.” Thanks, Wikipedia. It also covers human reproduction and we do a frog dissection. Exciting!

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I admit I was a little concerned about this one. This is Pandia Press’ History Odyssey: Ancients Level 2. It’s a lot of reading, writing down summaries and so on. My son loves history, but he finds reading books (instead of listening to audiobooks) challenging and dislikes writing things down. History odyssey involves a lot of that at this level. I don’t know if I helped matters by telling him to wait until he gets into high school because it gets a lot worse in that respect. But, so far he’s doing it. He complained the other day because lesson 3 wanted him to read TWO CHAPTERS in The Story of Mankind. “Well, why don’t we just open it and see how long the chapters are.” One of them was most of a page. The other was two pages. Me: Just read them, seriously! They’re short!
The lessons are designed to be self-guided so the student can work independently. My son can manage a lot of that, but I still check through things and make sure he understands what he’s supposed to do.

Now for Beta (second grade)

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This is her history curriculum, again Pandia Press History Odyssey. But this time it’s Ancients Level 1. I used this curriculum with Alpha when he was in first grade and it’s nice to revisit it again and see how History Odyssey really gets harder through the grade levels. This one is much more to Beta’s level, which is a relief and we read things together and I put the Story of the World audiobook on for her for those reading portions. Pandia Press is working on developing a secular History-as-Stories book for level 1, which annoys me simply because now I already have ALL of the Story of the World Audiobooks. I’m not going to buy their new version that’s secular when I’ve already bought this other version. Instead, I just yell at the kids that such-and-such is a myth or that it’s inaccurate to say that the Netherlands is called the Netherlands because it’s far away from the great European capitals of Berlin and Paris (no dummies, it’s called that because Nether means low. They’re the Low Lands. And it’s actually pretty close to that Great European Capital, London. Jeez) or that nowadays that country is called Holland (noooooo it’s still called the Netherlands! Holland is a province!)

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Her Science: Pandia Press REAL Science Odyssey Life (Biology 1). Again, I’ve used this before. It’s going to be a lot of fun revisiting these things with her. She likes getting to try out some of the stuff Alpha is using in his science, like the microscope, too.

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These are her core resources. They’re essentially the same thing as Alpha, except she’s not doing cursive yet, though she could because she did Printing Power once already. Somehow I ended up with excessive copies of that, so she’s doing it again. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t bother with Grammar and writing at this stage because it’s pretty boring and stupid easy, but it makes me feel better about having a “complete” language arts curriculum and this way she doesn’t finish ridiculously early compared to her brother, which would raise cries of “that’s not fair!!”

In addition to these, we also do German and Finnish. For German, I use Einsterns Schwester, which is a German language course for at home. They’re both still in level one because we’ve been going through it s-l-o-w-l-y. For Finnish, my husband has a Finnish for Foreigners booklet he printed out for my son. For my daughter, he’s teaching her how to read Finnish using the Aapinen book we bought (basically, a primer on reading) and building vocabulary playing games.

Aside from that, they have their sport activities at the Y, their German and Finnish Schools, and art class. We also take part in some co-ops that are mainly for socialization. I think that’s busy enough, don’t you?

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Because why not?

This has become a major pet peeve for me. My kids have started this thing we’re they’ll tell me they’ve decided to do something and sum up their reasons for doing it with “because, why not?” Say my daughter decides to put some flowers in her hair. “I decided to put all these flowers in my hair becase,” she shrugs, “why not?”

WHY NOT IS NOT A REASON. It is not an explanation. I finally decided to give her some reasons why not since she couldn’t find any. “Why not? Because maybe there are bugs in the flowers and they might crawl into your hair? Maybe you’re allergic to the flowers and they will make you sneeze? Maybe they’ll get tangled up in your hair and you won’t be able to get them out?”

“Yeah, but I wanted to put flowers in my hair.” Well, that’s a fine reason to do it. I just don’t get why their reasoning for doing something has started to be summed up by a supposed inability to find a reason against doing something.

Even worse, this has rubbed off on my husband. Today he came inside and told me, “It’s just as hot being inside doing anything as it is to be outside working on the house. So I figured I may as well be outside working on the house because why not?”

Motherfucker. Did you not just listen to the first half of your sentence? You literally just told me the whys! You have reasons! You don’t need to say why not? You don’t need to act like there is no possible reason why you wouldn’t be working outside in the heat because there are very good, obvious reasons for not wanting to (it’s fucking hot being the main one).

Ah well. Now I understand how my parents felt when I over used the word “like.” “And then she was like, ‘what did you do?’ And I was like ‘I ran away.’ And she was like, ‘Oh my god, where did you go?’ And I was like….”

And my parents were like, “OMG STOP USING THE WORLD LIKE! YOU MEAN TO USE SAID! OR ASKED OR LITERALLY ANY OTHER WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE MEANT TO DENOTE SOMEONE SPEAKING OR SAYING SOMETHING! GAAAAAAH.”

Yeah, it’s exactly like that.

Achtung, Baby Review

American moves abroad and raises children has become a genre unto itself nowadays. This is unfortunate because it means that by the time I get around to moving abroad, the market will already be saturated. I read Bringing Up Bebe when it came out in 2011 (it was instrumental in encouraging me to give up attachment parenting) and now I read Achtung, Baby, about an American woman who spent about 5 years living in Berlin.

As soon as I heard about the book, I bought it. I’ve observed a lot o German parenting and wanted to see others’ observations. What I didn’t expect was for the book to leave me feeling pretty depressed.

The fact that Americans are a bit….intense (other words: dedicated, single-minded, hovering, helicoptering, etc) when it comes to their parenting isn’t new. Lenore Skenazy has been writing about it since I became a parent. But few are the authors who spell it out quite as clearly as Sara Zaske: Americans are very controlling of their children. Even when trying to be permissive parents, we manage to do so in an authoritarian way. Our children are supervised pretty much all day long. They move from highly supervised classrooms with little time for free play to highly structured and supervised after-school activities and then head home to be supervised by their parents. In a country where people think kids shouldn’t play in their own front yard until they’re 13, don’t expect to see a lot of kids playing in their neighborhoods or with neighbor kids.

I’ve known this, but I’ve never heard it spelled out as being controlling and authoritarian. And it has me wondering how on earth we can expect children who have never been allowed to be free to grow up and respect the concept of freedom and participate in maintaining a liberal democracy.

Part of my goal with homeschooling was to give my children more freedom than they would have at school. More free time, more time to explore their own interests, more time to play outside and less supervision. But I can only do this sort of thing at home. Outside the house, they are subject to the prevalent cultural norms. No, they can’t go to the park by themselves because I don’t want the cops called on me or CPS. No, they can’t run into the shop and grab some milk or me run into the shop while they wait outside. And I have had the cops called on me for leaving my kids in the car when I ran into pick up a fast food order I’d already placed, so it’s not like this is an exaggeration. I came out with the food to see an angry man standing outside my car yelling into his phone. I spoke in German to my kids to make sure they were okay and he yelled at me to “Go home.” I did just that (though he was probably not referring to my house) and the cops came by to do a welfare check on the kids (I suppose to make sure I didn’t have them locked in the car still?).

Reading her book and seeing it jive with what I’ve witnessed in Germany made me feel a deep sadness. Granted, German norms have changed over the years. When my host sister was little, she used to walk to school in first grade. Now they do it in second. But these feel like minor quibbles when you consider that American kids can’t even be trusted to walk to their houses from a school bus stop. Instead, the school bus stops five times in the space of a half-mile to deposits each dickes Quarkbällchen in front of their very own house. Even if they’re in high school.

Zaske also dedicates a portion of the book about Einschülung to the fact that homeschooling is illegal. Being a homeschooler, this is a major sticking point with me. While I can understand the arguments behind forbidding homeschooling and the fact that even children have the right to be away from their parents, I think it overlooks the fact that some children simply do not do well in a school environment. While Berliner parents may protest against things they dislike against their schools and advocate for change, they lack the most significant form of protest: the ability to vote with their feet. American parents have this ability and it’s one I’ve opted to take. I dislike the prevailing culture in American schools and I don’t want my kids to experience its negative aspects and lose their initiative and joy of learning. German parents who find themselves unable to affect change in their schools have very few options, aside from providing emotional support for their miserable children and assurance that it will end eventually. But that’s a sucky way to spend 12 years of your life.

Notably in this book, Zaske includes a chapter detailing their family’s adjustment after returning to the US from Germany. This helps give them perspective about the things they like in the US compared to Germany, but there really doesn’t seem to be a whole lot. Zaske seems determined to effect some sort of change in her California neighborhood, but quite frankly I’m not holding my breath. Compared to Bringing Up Bebe, she dedicates part of each chapter to suggestions on how Americans could change how things are done in the US to improve it or make it more like the Germans do. I can see this rubbing a lot of Americans the wrong way, especially if they’re convinced that the way Americans do things is just fine and they’re sick of being told they need to do things the way foreigners do. A certain segment of the American population shows a disturbing lack of curiosity about the outside world.

The book could have used a bit more editing. Zaske definitely suffered from a lack of German knowledge. She states her the bakers called her daughter “Prinzesschen” when she went to the bakery by herself for the first time and that means “little princess.” It doesn’t. As far as I can tell, it’s not even a word. But the word for princess is “Prinzessin,” so I”m guessing that’s what they said. It would be easy to mix up the two. I also hope to god she stopped yelling “Achtung!” at some point in time. No one says “Achtung.” If someone needs to watch out, you say “Pass auf!” Achtung is like “Attention!” in the military sense. Or in the “Achtung! Achtung! Hier spricht die Polizei!” (Attention! Attention! This is the police!). I feel acutely embarrassed thinking she ran around yelling Achtung for five years in Germany. It reminds me of how I thought the correct response to “Schön Tag noch” at shops was “Jedenfalls” (Cashier: Have a nice day. Me: In any case!) I misheard “ebenfalls” (you too). Cringe.

She gets bonus points from me for including a whole section on how much attachment parenting sucks. Granted, she doesn’t say it like that, but it does suck. It makes parents miserable and turns their children into clingy little parasites who will suck the life out of you if given the opportunity. I’m actually surprised to learn Dr. Sears’ Baby Book has been translated into German considering the fact it advocates mothers quitting their jobs and staying home with their children (NOT the fathers!), even to the point of going into debt and financial ruin. Because, as we all know, only mothers are able to bond with their children. Fathers can’t. Grandparents can’t. And trained Kita Erzieher certainly can’t. According to Sears’ beliefs, all of former East Germany should be a complete basket case full of sociopaths thanks to generations of damn near all kids being in daycare there. Wait! I may have found the origins of Pegida!

At any rate, this has me more determined to move to Finland and Germany in order to give my kids a real taste of freedom. I want them to be able to explore without being warned to be careful, or other parents giving me major side eye because I am not living up to cultural norms.

Reading the Grocery Store Novel

In the last few days of my senior year of high school, my English teacher gave us a choice for our last reading assignment. We could either read Dante’s The Inferno or After the First Death, which she described as a grocery store novel. Years later, I began to suspect she used that as a sort of litmus test to find out what kind of adults we would turn out to be.

This incident came to mind numerous times while I read Brian Caplan’s The Case Against Education, which I recently finished reading. He argues persuasively that education is 80% signaling instead of human capital development. It’s about letting people know you’re competent by getting the right papers. Look! I graduated high school! I’m not a complete fuck-up! Look! I graduated from Prestigious University! I’m competent! Look! I have a masters degree! I am tenacious and enjoy suffering! Look! I have a PhD! I don’t know how to stop working on something once I start! Pls hire!

This signaling theory neatly explains why my husband has 2 masters degrees and a fistful of bachelors. Education in Finland is highly subsidized; they pay you to study. As a result, my husband knows people with masters degrees in philosophy who are working as cleaners. When everyone has a master’s, showing you’re not a fuck-up gets a lot more challenging.

The easiest solution to this problem is fairly obvious: stop subsidizing education and stop trying to force everyone into the college track. The problem is convincing people this is a good thing to do. Let’s look at my nephew, for example.

My oldest nephew is now 22. He’s been out of high school for damn near 5 years (he graduated at 17). He was an average student, but like everyone else from a middle class family, was placed firmly on a college track. He took the ACT and scored a 19. He had good extracurricular activities, though. He was on swim team and worked as a lifeguard at the Y. He was a decent viola player. With the encouragement of his parents’ and guidance counselor, he checked off all the high school graduation requirements and college application requirements one by one.

Then he graduated and went to community college. He didn’t have any idea what he wanted to study, but he had to do something and knocking out some gen ed requirements seemed like the thing to do.

It was too much for him; he dropped out. He complained he needed to brush up on his math. I told him about Khan Academy and had him start taking the math placement test there. I think he started it, but never finished. He spent the next 4 years bumming around, working various minimum wage, entry level jobs while all the adults in his life took turns telling him what he should do. I told him about how wind turbine technicians was a growing field, how VoTech had a training program he could enroll in and it would pay well.
After hemming and hawing, he enrolled back into community college to knock out those gen ed requirements before he enrolled in VoTech to learn a trade. He’s following my advice about taking one class at a time while working full-time instead of quitting work and going back to school full-time while living off of student loans. If nothing else, I’ve managed to bash the fact that student loans cannot be discharged in bankruptcy and will follow you around until the day you die (or flee the country never to return again) firmly into his brain. This semester he took music, English 102 and fitness.

But the whole situation infuriates me. Why should he have to take gen ed requirements? Is it likely a music course in community college is going to round him out that necessary bit more than all the music courses he had in his previous 13 years of mandatory education? Is it likely he’s going to have to analyze a poem in order to figure out why said wind turbine is failing to turn properly? Maybe they think Don Quixote will hold the key to this mystery? Haha, just kidding. They don’t read Don Quixote at community college. What was the point of all that general education he got in high school if he can’t even get into a vocational program without MORE general education?

It’s completely useless and a waste of time. I completely agree with Caplan that we need a proper vocational training program in the US. He says not everyone can be Germany with its swell apprenticeship training program. The reality is that we don’t need to be, and even Germany’s highly praised apprenticeship program is suffering from rigid German formality. When I was there 5 years ago, I met up with a cousin of my host family and asked her what she was up to. “Oh, I’m an Azubi.” Cool, what in? “A dry cleaners,” she answered. Words failed me and so did a polite answer. “Oh, that’s interesting,” I tried to choke out. What I really wanted to say was “Is that really something that you need an entire apprenticeship to learn? Couldn’t you just learn it on the job?

The answer is no. In Germany, you can do an apprenticeship in pretty much anything. The plus side is you’ll end your secondary education with a skill so you can find a job. The downside is that is your skill. While you may switch skills, doing so shows a disturbing lack of ernsthaftigkeit [seriousness], which is decidedly unGerman. And good luck getting a job in a field where you don’t have a qualification. Foreigners (especially Americans) may be able to do that; they just aren’t serious about the things they do and every one knows it. The work these unqualified people do is probably shoddy as far as any vernünftig German is concerned.

There’s no reason we can’t have a similar system here–only better. Why not make vocational tracks that run along side the college track at school? No need to separate them out into different schools like they do in Germany –god knows that would only increase the amount of competition among parents to get their kids into The Good School (“you know, the one where the kids don’t just learn skills that result in gainful employment! I want my kids to go to college and then work in marketing!”). Instead, we can let the students themselves choose their classes. Those who feel more academically compelled (coughnerdscough) will naturally drift into the classes they belong. The ones who are mechanically inclined can find their rightful place. Teachers in the respective classes can become mentors to these students and help guide them to enroll in classes that will result them in either going to the college that’s right for them or the trade that they’re best at, along with any writing and math courses that are relevant to their fields.

The choice part is key here. In Germany, teachers and parents choose for the kid when they’re only 10 years old. My host sister’s teacher wanted to place her in the Hauptschule track, which leads to Berufschule, because her English and German skills were weak. My host parents protested and managed to get her into Gymnasium, where she did very well and later became a doctor. Take that, overly rigid system!

Kids need to be active participates in their education. It needs to be something they do and not something that is done to them. My nephew just drifted along through college. He kept playing viola because his mother insisted on it. The same with swimming, though I think he was a bit more passionate about that. As soon as he graduated, he stopped playing viola. He quit working at the Y after a while, too, and then stopped swimming. What was the point, then, of all the money and time invested into that viola playing? Did he enjoy it? I’m not sure. Did it make him a more rounded individual? Maybe? He seems to prefer metal to classical music, though, and even when he was in high school his preferred sheet music was HIM transcribed for viola. It certainly didn’t get him into college and it isn’t getting him into any sort of well-paying job.

I tried to encourage him to take his viola and a friend who also played an instrument and backpack around the safer parts of the world, playing on the street for money. He’d learn a lot, I told him. But he lacked the courage. It sounded too risky a pursuit and, after all, he had it pretty good at home.

So he’s puttering his way through community college a second time and I’m sitting here, biting my lip, hoping that he makes it through this time and learns a trade. For some reason, I’m a lot angrier than he is at the time he’s wasting. This is his springboard into his thirties. The more he does now, the more opportunities he takes, the more he’ll be able to achieve later, even if he starts from a low base.

I have my own share of regrets when it comes to the education system, though I can’t say they relate much to signaling or mal-investment. I was college material. I belonged to the groupd of nerds that rolled their eyes at pep rallies and used the time to do homework instead. I read to the end of my world history book over Thanksgiving break to find out how the world ends (with the fall of the Berlin Wall, in case any one wonders. We now live in post-world.) I worked my way to an IB Diploma and entered college as a second semester sophomore. Granted, I went to an easy college, but honestly after the stressful experience that was high school, I was burnt out and needed a break.

When my senior English teacher gave us a choice between Dante and the grocery store novel, I picked the grocery store novel. My friends who have gone on to achieve masters degrees, MDs and PhDs and beyond? They chose Dante.

“When else am I going to have the opportunity to read it?” one of them responded when I asked why.

The accurate answer to this question is, of course, whenever they want. It’s in the public domain. But the realistic answer is…some things no one reads unless they’re forced to in school.

[I have a lot more to say about the Case Against Education, especially as it relates to homeschooling, but that will be another post]

The Perfect Recipe

– 2 pounds boneless chicken tenders
– 1/4 tsp. sea salt
– 1/8 tsp. ground pepper
– 1/8 tsp. garlic powder
– 2 packages bacon (2lbs total)
– 1/3 cup honey
– 1/2 cup mustard
– 3 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar
– Dash cayenne (optional)

Sprinkle chicken with spices, wrap with bacon, coat with mustard mixture. Place on wire racks over cookie sheets and bake at 400F for 12-15 min. Then flip and bake for another 12-15 min.

Finding recipes that everyone at my house can eat and will eat is a never ending challenge. My husband can’t eat anything with a lot of carbs in it because of his diabetes. Gamma can’t eat anything with dairy in it because of his diabetes. Beta complains we always eat meat. By this she means our dinners consist of some sort of meat dish, like steak or roast beef or carnitas or something. It’s not accurate; sometimes we also eat stews.

For a while, stew was our go-to dish because everyone would eat it, it was low carb, no dairy, and I could easily scale it up. Then Alpha suddenly decided he didn’t like stew, so he stopped eating it. Then Beta decided to start crying every time we had any sort of meat dish. So some of us would eat soup, some of us would eat meat; rarely did we all sit down and eat the same meal.

Until these bacon wrapped chicken tenders. I first ate this at my sister’s house. I helped her with the preparation, which was a bit finicky to make as they required covering each chicken tender completely with bacon. After noting how eagerly everyone at the table ate those, I got the recipe from her and brought it home with me. It would be the perfect addition to my collection of low-carb diabetic friendly recipes. My husband loved it and, even more miraculously, so did the kids. They devoured them with gusto. To make things easier one me, I stopped wrapping every bit of the chicken tender with bacon, using only one piece of bacon per tender. I still got good coverage, though perhaps not as complete as my sister’s. They also didn’t taste as good upon reheating, which was a problem since I always quadrupled the recipe to minimize how much I cooked.

But the family ate them. The first time I made them, we sat outside in the summer, under the evening sun, the kids exclaiming how good they were, how we should eat these every night. They must have had 4 pieces each, more than they usually did.

And here, with this happy tableau, I should stop. Because if I kept going, I’d have to tell you that after a few months Alpha remembered that he doesn’t like bacon and stopped eating the bacon, peeling it off instead and giving it to his dad to finish off. Gamma, for some reason, decided to stop eating bacon as well. Then Beta suddenly realized there’s mustard in this and she doesn’t like mustard. So she started refusing to eat the chicken completely unless I made special mustardless batches for her. Which is what I did, as I was determined not to let this perfect recipe go.

My husband, meanwhile, was getting overwhelmed with bacon. “I can’t keep eating this much bacon every night!” he protested. “Can’t you make some batches without bacon for Gamma and Alpha?” I sighed, but agreed. At least it’d save bacon. I did this a few times, but getting the proportions right was tricky. I had to figure out how much of each chicken each person would eat. The properly made chicken would get consumed pretty rapidly since my husband and I both ate it. Then the baconless mustard chicken, being eaten by the boys, though that often varied depending on how hungry Gamma was feeling. Last was the mustardless bacon chicken. Get the proportions wrong and listen to whichever unfortunate child is stuck eating their personalized chicken for a week complain about it.

Finally, thought, I had enough. “You know what?” I told my husband. “I’m done making three separate versions of the same chicken recipe. If they don’t want to eat it how it’s supposed to be made, they can have stew!”

For, by this time, Alpha had decided he liked stew again. And I am through dealing with alterations to what should have been, and once was, the perfect recipe.

 

Schooling, unschooling, homeschooling

One thing that really annoys me about unschoolers is their need to take every little thing they do with their kids and turn it into Who Unschooling is Awesome. “I went to the science museum with our kids today! #unschooling”

Wow. I take my kids to the science museum, too. Does that mean I’m unschooling? Am I an unschooler now? Bob Blow takes his kids to the science museum, too. Does that make him an unschooler, too?

Then again, this is something regular, run of the mill homeschoolers do, too. “The great thing about homeschooling is that you can just go on field trips to learn about things. Like we’ve been learning about animals, so we went to the zoo! It’s so hands on! Homeschooling is awesome.”

Non-homeschooler can then reply, “Oh! I take my kids to the zoo, too! So I guess I’m homeschooling, too! Hahaa.”
And the homeschooler frowns. This was not what they meant at all. “No no no, you send your kids to school, so you’re not homeschooling when you take them to the zoo. You’re just…going to the zoo.”

It’s a matter of definitions, but also a territorial issue, too. Homeschoolers want people who send their kids to school to know how awesome they are as homeschoolers. They want them to know that yes, they, too, could homeschool. But as soon as the non-homeschooler points out that the things they do are hardly exclusive to homeschoolers, the homeschoolers immediately get defensive and try to mark out boundaries as to what makes them special. And more importantly, what makes them better.

It’s the same with unschoolers. They know that on the surface it looks like they aren’t doing a whole lot with their kids. So they end up pointing out every little thing that happens as the learning that must be going on in that moment. And, boy, does it get annoying. “Outside splashing in the puddles! Kids are learning physics! #unschooling.” Wow I wonder how long until they use that to derive the Pythagorean theorem all by themselves! My kids splash outside too! The difference is…I just call it playing. Sure, they might be learning something, too, but they’re also having fun. No need to dress it up.

I’ve started having fun with the labels. Whenever I hear someone talking about unschool this, homeschool that, or how they could never do either of the above, I like to tell them I couldn’t either.
Because I couldn’t. There’s no way I could structure my childrearing around just one of those things. We have our structured learning times (“homeschool”), sure, but I also give my kids lots of time to follow their own interests (“unschooling”). My kids also go to German school, Finnish school, PE class and art (“school”). We divide our time between all of those because all three of them have merits. Parents teach their kids, whether they want to or not. And you’d probably have to tie them up and leave them in a darkened room to prevent them from learning things on their own.

Which brings me to those “homeschoolers” in California who did just that to 12 of their 13 kids. “We need more homeschooling regulation!” people are now screaming. “Homeschooling should be illegal!” Except…well, California is actually quite strict when it comes to homeschooling. Except…they weren’t homeschooling when the abuse started. Their oldest kids went to public school in Texas and former classmates remember them being thin and smelling bad. They were dirty. And still, no one did anything. They fell through the cracks simply because there are so many cracks for children in abusive families to fall into. They’re so lucky one of them worked up the nerve to save themselves because, in the end, you’re the only who can.

But…on the other hand, there has been discussion among homeschoolers I know as to what level of regulation they would deem acceptable in order to prevent homeschoolers from falling through those cracks. In order to prevent educational neglect from occurring. The short of it was…there is none. Homeschoolers want to regulate themselves. They don’t trust the state to educate their children, why on earth would they trust the state to make sure they are actually educating their children themselves? It doesn’t help that the government spent so much time trying to keep homeschooling illegal or that they see homeschooling as competition or one way they lose money (state funds are distributed according to pupils enrolled). Nor does it help that homeschoolers watch the amount of their property taxes flowing into the public schools, which they benefit from and can’t opt out of.

But I’ve noticed whenever people are left to regulate themselves or self-police, they usually don’t. We excuse things in ourselves that we would never tolerate from others and that is a problem.

The Travails of Homeschooling

Homeschooling has been going pretty well. It’s my first year homeschooling two kids, so things have been a bit different. The biggest change has been the fact that it takes about an hour longer to get things done on a good day. On a not-so-good day, things can take several hours longer.

Alpha is doing really well. We had him tested through our school district last year to see how he was doing and how much his ADHD and Dyslexia were affecting him. The results showed that his dyslexia wasn’t affecting him at all. He was performing right at grade level in every subject except for writing. While he still had some issues with reversals and forming letters backwards, he did well even with decoding nonsense words. It’s a sure sign that switching up our phonics program in first grade worked.
His ADHD, on the other hand, was still hindering him. He tested as very distracted and would definitely need some interventions to help him manage his ADHD if he were in a classroom setting.

We gave him the option of going to school, but since he was exactly where he needed to be, we didn’t see the point in forcing the issue. He remains happily homeschooled and has insisted that he never wants to go to school. I told him that eventually he is going to have to go to school. He can’t stay home forever.

His favorite subject is history and this year we’re covering the modern times era, using history odyssey from pandia press. I love pandia press’ materials so much, I wonder why anyone would use anything else. Then I remember not everyone likes a very structured and detailed program that requires a lot of work. Not even me, at times.

Beta is a more reluctant homeschooler. She’s very social, but decided after being in school last year, she wanted to stay home this year. So we let her. But she quickly started complaining about how she wished she were in school. When she would get frustrated about her work, she would start complaining that she wished she were dead, she hated her life. All very dramatic.

I panicked and found myself wondering if she was suffering severe psychological damage from homeschooling or something. I was used to my son getting frustrated and yelling or throwing his work, but not this. So I had her tour a local montessori school to see if she wanted to go there. I was so sure she would that I had the paperwork printed and filled out before she toured it.

Afterwards, she said, “It wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” That was the most positive thing she had to say. Aside from that, she said she didn’t want to have be there five days a week and the days were too long. She would miss the homeschooling groups we go to and the art class.

I was surprised, but I slowly realized that her dramatic statements of self-hate was just her venting her frustrations, similar to how Alpha’s yelling and throwing his books were his. It’s not that she hates homeschooling or that I’m damaging her. It’s that she hates it when she doesn’t get things immediately. Since then, I’ve changed my tactics with her. When she declares herself stupid, I ask her why she thinks she’s stupid. I force her to question her statements until she reaches the conclusion that she doesn’t reaaaaaly mean them. She’s just frustrated.

So that’s getting easier.

Harder is the fact that she’s learning physics and modern times history in fourth grade when these subjects are basically too advanced for her. But I didn’t want to start off teaching two kids at two differen’t subjects and levels in history and science, which would make my day very complicated. So Beta is basically auditing Physics and Modern Times history. When she complains about it being too hard, I just remind her that this material is meant for an older child and next year, she’ll do Ancients 1 and Life (Biology 1) and things will be much easier for her.

Because I don’t have enough to do, I’ve decided to try and organize a science and history co-op so I can have other homeschoolers to hang out with and help teach these subjects to our mutual kids. In other words, friends. Unfortunately, I’m realizing this means I’m going to most of the work while the other people just show up. But that’s pretty much how all these things go. I’m trying to finagle it so that I’m only teaching one of the subjects and other parents do the other three. So I would teach, say, Biology 2 and then three other women would do Ancients I, Ancients II and Life. Or we would alternate which subjects we teach so everyone teaches or doesn’t teach based on how things work. I don’t know. It’s a work in progress.

But so far I’m the only doing anything, so I don’t know. And I want to make sure things are taught well, so there’s a distinct possibility i will be too much of a control freak to be able to hand over any of the control to anybody else and have a successful co-op.

We’ll see. We’re halfway through this year and we’re doing well and that makes me happy.